By: Prof, Dr, Waleed .S. AL-Bayati
dr-albayati50@hotmail.co.uk

Introduction:

Life and humanity are one of the most important issues in Islam, as Islam shows a highly respect towards the system of values and morality. Islam unlike other religions has a strong advocate of marriage as there is no place for celibacy, from here the value of the relation between man and woman through the organisation of marriage is equal to the value of the life itself.

Marriage and forming family, aiming to create the basis of the human society in a way to build their life and civilization, as human (the person which is man or woman) is one of the most important elements of organizing history.

Natural tendency:

According to the natural tendency male and female are attracted towards each other in different ways. This attraction naturally binds them together and leads them to organise a common life and form a group of persons (family). This instinct of sex, like other instincts should be guided to the right path so that it may utilized in the service of human society.

Though natural and common life of both man and woman (husband and wife) originates form sex instinct, yet gradually it develops into a sort of deep sentimental, spiritual and social and even an economic relationship. That is what we call conjugal union or matrimony.

Marriage:

According to their nature's man and woman seems very keen to each others and have a deep desire to establish conjugal relationship between them, so they establish a contract known as marriage.

The marriage contract is highly evaluated in human life and society, for it unites the existence of two persons in many ways. It lays the foundation of the life of a man infant, and deeply influences his body, life, thought and future actions. That is why marriage contract is regarded as sacred by various nations and enough attention has been paid in different legal system to the questions connected with it.

Marriage in Islamic view:

Islam has also attached great importance to the question of marriage in its social system. According the holy Qur'an and the Traditions handed by both the Prophet Muhammad and his The Imams we find that marriage has been greatly encouraged. The Prophet has been reported to have said: "No institution of Islam is liked by Allah more than that of marriage". (1)

The basic object of marriage in Islam:

There are two main basic objects considering the main aims of forming the relationship between man and woman:

First: Securing comfortable atmosphere for husband and wife.

With regard to this object the Qur'an says:
"And of his signs is that He created for you spouses of your own species, so that you might find comfort with them, and He put between you mutual love and compassion in your hearts; Surly there are sign in this for people who reflect". (2)

From here Muslim husband and wife should always be sources of comfort and happiness to each other. Their mutual relations should be far above mere sexual enjoyment and should reach the stage of cordial friendship accompanied by mutual benevolence and felloe-feeling.

According to the basis of this verse the object of marriage should be the same as is that of the creation of mates that is husbands and wives. From the Islamic point of view marriage is not merely an instrument for legalizing sexual relations, but it is an agreement which unites the very existence of the husband and wife and gives a new colour and a new rhythm to their life. It brings them out of real solitariness, turns them into a couple instead of single individuals and makes them complementary to each other.

Second: Producing a new generation and bringing up healthy, faithful and vitreous children.

With Regard to this object Qur'an says:
"The originator of the heavens and the earth; He made mates for you from among yourselves, and (similarly made) the cattle (also) males and females. That is bow He multiplies you. Nothing can be compared to him. He is the All-bearing, the All-seeing." (3)

On the basis of this verse, marriage and mutual relation between man and women is way for the continuity of human being on the earth, a continuity in which man can civilizes the land.
Selection of a spouse:

One of the most critical questions connected with marriage and formation of a family is that of choosing the spouse. In this connection attention should be paid to the following points:

1- Freedom in the selection of wife and husband.
2- Equality between husband and wife, viz. each of them should be generally suitable to marry the other.
3- The criteria which should be kept in view to determine such suitability.
4- Persons between whom marriage is forbidden.
5- Seeking the hand of the spouse in marriage.

Family manners:

Islamic Law (Shari'a) pay a good attention to evaluation both men and women in there relations and connections through the marriage bonds. In this way behaviours of both towards each others are very important to keep a continuous life between them in a suitable way, each one must look after the other needs as they share the responsibility in organizing their life.

The holy Prophet has said:
"The best men among you are those who are the best husbands of their wives". (4)

He also said:
The best of your women are those:
a: who are loving and kindly.
b: who are looking after chastity.
c: Who are faithful to their husband in their absence.

Imam Ali has said:
"Be kind to your wife and treat her well. Kindness will change her for the better, will keep preserve her health and beauty". (5)

Sharing the responsibilities between parents and children:

The Qur'an laying stress on the right of the parents as a part of worship, as He said:
"And your Lord has ordained that you should not worship (any) but Him and show kindness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "Ugh" nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word". (6)

He also said:
"We have enjoined on man goodness to parents". (7)

In the capacity of being the first guardians of their children the parents should be carful of their own conduct and behaviours so that they may not set a bad example to them. They must be very cautious, for their behaviour of the habits and character of their children.

They should ensure that their children become physically and spiritually strong. The children should be provided a sound atmosphere where they attain healthy physical growth and receive correct moral training.

After all marriage is a kind of contact between two persons to form a basis of life on the earth with the considering power, mind, feelings and other matters to keep life in continues and to be a part of the Islamic society.

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1- See Albihar and Alkafi.
2- Al Rum: 21.
3- Al Shura: 11.
4- See Wasil al Shia'h: 14/16.
5- Wasil al Shia'h: 14/14.
6- Al Israe: 23. In other hand the Prophet said: "Allah's pleasure is in father's pleasure and Allah's displeasure in father's displeasure". He also said: "Paradise lies at the feet of the mother.
7- Al Ankabut: 8.

Prof, Dr, Waleed .S. AL-Bayati
dr-albayati50@hotmail.co.uk
UK - London